Full Stop. -- otherwise known as a period -- It is defined as a punctuation mark used to end a sentence or an abbreviation. “Punctuation.” It kind of has a spark to it. Having taken German for my high school foreign language requirement, I like the emphasis that the translated word has “Punkt”!
It conveys a sort of action; sharp and quick. It emotes a deliberate interruption.
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To better practice intentional prayer, I have made it a point over the last couple of months to actively pray as I go throughout the day. Sometimes I pray in my car while I drive. Other times I pray when I lay in bed at night (honestly, it’s a form of meditation for me). I pray when I get ready for work in the morning. I pray as I vacuum...fold laundry...make dinner…
Often the prayers are quick and a couple of sentences. This discipline engages the Spirit regularly and openly. I have a tendency to fall into the trap of beckoning and inviting the Holy Spirit, rather than acknowledging His already-present self. My eyes, though open, fail to see Him. And my ears, though clear, fail to hear Him.
This probably sounds crazy to some. But I know my God is a relational God. Without the effort, intentional effort, of pursuing consistent communication and quality time with Him, how could I possibly expect to have a flourishing relationship?
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One morning last week, my mind was super preoccupied (subtly irritated) with something that in all honesty did not even involve me personally, but it was something I had been praying about for m-o-n-t-h-s. I turned off my alarm, got out of bed, and began my routine. I could tell my heart was not present that day. So, I started talking to God. About the day, what was on my calendar, a couple of specific things for my friends. Then it hit me. Almost an audible voice: “Erin, just stop.”
I was standing in front of my bathroom sink, makeup in hand. Immediately, it felt like my feet were in blocks of concrete. I looked into the mirror. A solid 30 seconds went by in silence. I finally said, “Lord, I trust you.” Full stop.
After a couple of minutes, I bowed my head, leaned over my sink, and shut my eyes tight. “God, why is this bothering me SO much?”
“I trust you. I believe and hope in you. I know you are working. I know you are moving. I know you are doing miracles.”
I began praying super specifically for that thing.
After another two or three minutes, I paused. Luke 6 came to mind: “For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, for each tree is known for its fruit...The good person out of the good treasures of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasures produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.” (v. 43-45).
I said the verse again. And again. “...Out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks.”
SO. Hmmm. Here I am praying -- declaring -- “Father, I trust you fully.” So, if my mouth speaks trust in God, then my heart must be consumed by and convinced of His trustworthiness? Could it be? Did I really just experience a version of Luke 6?
But of course, my humanity and fallen nature crept in and tried to ruin the whole thing. In the deep recesses of my mind I had a shaky thought: As applied to real everyday life, I sure didn’t understand how praying this way was going to help.
Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones.” Proverbs 3:5-8
Faith is actually a really tricky thing. All of our spiritual disciplines work together to bring about the totality of our faith. Jesus commanded us to love God with our hearts, minds, souls, and strength. All of these facets are individual, yet inextricably interconnected.
Is it possible to trust and love God with our hearts, but struggle trusting Him with our minds?
“...and Jesus said to them, ‘Do you believe I am able to do this?’” -- Matthew 9:28
“I believe; help my unbelief!” -- Mark 9:24
Please hear me, friend: Do not underestimate the power and breadth of His grace! Do not underestimate the blessing of the Holy Spirit...our Helper!
In a few moments, it “clicked” and a weight was lifted. I ended my wrestling match with God that morning with two simple sentences.
“Holy Spirit, help my mind catch up to my heart.”
“Holy Spirit, help my mind catch up to my words.”
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