Since having attended a Christian university (which mandates a Bible minor) for nearly three years, I can confidently say my belief in God has been challenged. Not necessarily in a positive way. Having so much theology thrown at a person often does the reverse of what is intended: doubt, bitterness, and cynicism seep into the very fabric of one's existence. My faith has taken a royal beating. While there is a reasonably justified demand for academically viewing God's Word for (a) evangelizing to to that woman on the street corner, (b) your co-worker facing crisis, or (c) to "work out" your own times of trial, I find it quite terrifying how easy it has become for me to dissect, contextualize, and simply over analyze.
Every time I sit in church I find myself critiquing the song lyrics, the sermon, the style of praying, the words used in prayers, the pastor's hermeneutics, and the list goes on...and on...and on.
Over Spring Break, I was visiting my family in the Pacific Northwest - far away from the cornfields of Ohio that surround my university - and my mom was brought near to tears over my apparent lack of love for church, in fact my anger and disdain toward it. When she and my dad tried to talk to me about why I seemed unhappy in the service that morning, I could not even articulate what was in my mind and what had seemingly left my heart. Sickening. I could think of nothing else other than this is how Peter must have felt after the rooster crowed for the third and final time. Matthew 26:75 [look it up]. How can I stand with Him, and not be moved by Him? I had come to deny my Savior.
It was at that moment Erin's personal battle between faith and religion convened. This human construct of religion/religious instruction/the "Christian Worldview" slowly wraps its long, cold, pale, bony fingers around the neck of child-like faith.
I am in no way advocating for the absence of strong, academic, well-informed biblical teaching and mentoring. Yes; this must have a place, we must prepare men and women for vocational ministry as well as for defense of their faith. I am just raising the question: does regurgitating the "proper" doctrine and worldview on an exam truly inspire a faith that is full of awe, wonderment, mystery...?
"Love is blind." A widely known and flippantly used phrase. STOP. Think about it. If our faith is produced from a deep love for Jesus Christ, should love - and faith by extension - be blind? No; but it should not be assumed that God and our relationship with him can be understood - in its entirety - on this side of Heaven. The very fact that the world's most renown scholars devote their lives to the debate of the Scriptures proves the gray-ness of Christianity. I do not claim to have all the answers. I know this life, this faith is a continual work in progress and we should never be stagnant in our walk.
Being a Christian is a balancing act - faith vs. works; too academic vs. lacking true study; and context vs. face value assessment of Scripture. At various times I have felt distant from God and stalled in my Christianity, but never have I backpedaled like this. Now marks the beginning of striving to reclaim a simple.naked.faith and uncoerced love for my King.
Every time I sit in church I find myself critiquing the song lyrics, the sermon, the style of praying, the words used in prayers, the pastor's hermeneutics, and the list goes on...and on...and on.
Over Spring Break, I was visiting my family in the Pacific Northwest - far away from the cornfields of Ohio that surround my university - and my mom was brought near to tears over my apparent lack of love for church, in fact my anger and disdain toward it. When she and my dad tried to talk to me about why I seemed unhappy in the service that morning, I could not even articulate what was in my mind and what had seemingly left my heart. Sickening. I could think of nothing else other than this is how Peter must have felt after the rooster crowed for the third and final time. Matthew 26:75 [look it up]. How can I stand with Him, and not be moved by Him? I had come to deny my Savior.
It was at that moment Erin's personal battle between faith and religion convened. This human construct of religion/religious instruction/the "Christian Worldview" slowly wraps its long, cold, pale, bony fingers around the neck of child-like faith.
I am in no way advocating for the absence of strong, academic, well-informed biblical teaching and mentoring. Yes; this must have a place, we must prepare men and women for vocational ministry as well as for defense of their faith. I am just raising the question: does regurgitating the "proper" doctrine and worldview on an exam truly inspire a faith that is full of awe, wonderment, mystery...?
"Love is blind." A widely known and flippantly used phrase. STOP. Think about it. If our faith is produced from a deep love for Jesus Christ, should love - and faith by extension - be blind? No; but it should not be assumed that God and our relationship with him can be understood - in its entirety - on this side of Heaven. The very fact that the world's most renown scholars devote their lives to the debate of the Scriptures proves the gray-ness of Christianity. I do not claim to have all the answers. I know this life, this faith is a continual work in progress and we should never be stagnant in our walk.
Being a Christian is a balancing act - faith vs. works; too academic vs. lacking true study; and context vs. face value assessment of Scripture. At various times I have felt distant from God and stalled in my Christianity, but never have I backpedaled like this. Now marks the beginning of striving to reclaim a simple.naked.faith and uncoerced love for my King.
As I was writing this post, this song came on my Pandora station.
Holy design, this place in time that I might seek and find my God...
This is the way I see it. -- Erin Lately
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